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Jul 9, 2004
yOu cOmplete me..

as yOu can tell im just a *little* bOred. . lol.. i wOuld be hanging Out with my baby but he left earlier tO gO tO plant city tO hang out with sOme of his friends. he wOnt be back until.. umm.. next thursday? which alsO happens tO be our 4 mOnths! he just called and didnt have much to say..he dOesnt usually have that much to say neways sO it wasnt a surprise to me. i guess he just wanted tO tell me that he wOuld be online tO talk tO me in a little bit and i tOld him i might be asleep but he tOld me i better be On tO talk tO him sO im gOing tO have tO keep myself entertained or else im gOing tO fall asleep. he's only been gOne for like .. 6 hOurs but i already miss him like craZy! ={ i cant wait until he cOmes
hOme!
 oOoh yeah and i fOrgOt tO write that mikey finally came hOme .. its great tO have my best friend back but i dOnt like him like befOre.. actually nOw it makes me feel weird tO even think i actually liked him like that lol it was sO stupid of me.. im so glad i have tOm!
 and katie mOved out a cOuple weeks agO. we havent really talked all that much since. its like once she dOesnt have tO see me everyday like befOre im nOt impOrtant anymOre. oh well its nOt like it matters.
 I gO tO highschOol next year. it wOuld be sO great if tOm passed sO we can still be in the same schOol as each other! if he didnt pass then im gOing tO be all by myself =-/ then i wOuldnt get tO see him as much as we dO nOw. he sleeps over fOr 3 nights and then he  gOes hOme fOr one night and then he cOmes back the next day .. spends 3 night and sO on. its sOoOo.. great tO wake up in the mOrning and see his face. all i want tO dO is curl up tO him and hOld on tight fOrever. Im sO scared hes gOing tO lOse his trial its in 10 days and i only get tO spend like 4 of thOse days with him. thats nOt enOugh time =( but i have my fingers crOssed and i pray that he wins sO that we can be tOgether still. i dOnt knOw what i wOuld dO withOut him.

tOm i lOve yOu with everything i have in me and i just want yOu tO knOw that nO matter
what happens to us i will ALWAYS lOve yOu. yOu have shOwed me hOw happy i can be
and i dOnt think i cOuld ever be this happy again with anOther persOn. i lOve yOu with
all that my heart can give and a lOt mOre. please dOnt ever leave me.

Posted at 07:34 pm by BabiiDesire
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Apr 12, 2004
Great Day..!!

Once Again So Much Has Changed. Lol I'm Always Forgetting To Write. Sorry. I'm Really Happy Right Now. My Boyfriend Just Left, A New One. Tom. OmG Is He Awesome. Since I Met Him I Just Kind Of Clicked With Him And I've Been Wanting To Say I Love You For Like.. Ever! But Last Night We Were Talking Because He Had Court This Morning And He Was Supposed To Find Out If He Was Going To Go To A Program Like Mikey's In Or Not And He Asked Me If I Would Wait For Him If He Had To Go And I Never Want To Lose Him Even If I Have To Wait A Year To Have Him Again So I Told Him Yes I Would Wait For Him And He Said Good Because I Love You. I Didn't Know What To Say. I Wanted To Say It Back But The Words Were Stuck In My Throat And He's Like It's Okay If You Don't Love Me Back And I Was Like I've Only Wanted To Tell You I Love For Ever Now. And Then He Kissed Me. Talk About A Perfect Moment!!   =)  Ahh He's So WoNdErFuL!

Posted at 09:53 pm by BabiiDesire
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Mar 6, 2004
it's been awhile ..

Sorry it's been awhile since I've written. I've  been kind of busy. Lots has happened though. Okay here goes . .

* First of all, I'm going out with Chris. He's a really nice guy but it doesn't feel right between us at all. And my mom hates him. Lol Which isn't a good thing. But it's all good. I'm probably going to break up with him soon anyways. Shh..
*I TALKED TO MIKEY!! Last weekend his mom came over to drop Drew off and Mikey was on the phone with her and Drew came inside to get me so I could go talk to Mikey and even though it was hard I told him to tell his mom to leave that I didn't want to talk to him but then my mom and sister went outside and talked to him and I still didn't. That was really hard to give up an oppurtonuity to talk to him up but I did it. And then I guess Mikey wanted to talk to me still so his mom got out her car, came inside, grabbed ahold of me by my shirt and dragged me outside. She took the phone and stuck it to my ear and told me to say hello so I had to. Okay here's just about the whole converstation, Lol.

Me- Hello?
Mike- Hey.
Me- How are you?
Mike- How do you think? ( Laughing )
Me- Did you get your ass beat yet?
Mike- No. ( Laughing ) Why?
Me- Idk I was hopeing you did.
Mike Laughed - Oh thanks.
Me- I was just kidding. ( Laughing )
Mike- I miss you.
Me- I miss you 2.
Mike- So you didn't want to talk to me huh?
Me- No I didn't.
Mike- Oh I see how it is.
Me- Yeah. Why talk to you and then not talk to you for another 4 months?
Mike- Idk. So we can talk. I haven't talked to you in 4 months.
Me- I know. I'm sorry but your mom wants the phone back she says she wants to talk to you too. ( Laughing. ) I think I'm taking up too much of her time talking to you.
Mike- Why? Okay..
Me- I miss you.
Mike- Miss you too.
Me- I love you.
         *** PAUSE ***
Mike- I love you 2.

Interesting huh? Lol Oh well, I'm glad I talked to him. Although I do wish he got his ass beat. Lol Okay well I think I'm going to go.. I'll write more later probably.Hopefully. Gunna go watch my counrtyy.. Lol Byeee

Posted at 09:32 am by BabiiDesire
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Jan 28, 2004
bOrredd !!

today was such a boring day !! it was a half day so my mom decided to let me sleep in since i haven't been getting much sleep lately =-/ but i ended up waking up around ten so i've been up all day with really nothing to do so as you could imagine i'm boredd out`a my mind !! =-P lol somebody help ?!

i kind of wanted to go to school today cuz i wanted to see that one  * oh so special guy *  but i figured i'd see him tomorrow so i didn't think it was that big of a deal not to go. I know Chrissy missed me though !! she said it was boring at lunch without me =-) lol sorry Chrissy !

my mom and i got into another fight today. she was being so stupid.. i wish she would just get over my dad so that i didn't have to worry about her complaining so much about how i get along with my dad and i shouldn't after everything he's done to us. it's stupid and it pisses me off. =-/

anyways the BEST!! thing that has gone threw my mind all day is that it's only 3months 1week and 5days until my wOnDeRfUl Micheal Kenneth Shawn Erwin comes home !! i can't wait to have my best friend back. i miss him sooo.. much .. =-(  he always made me happy and i could talk to him about everything .. i wrote him a 5 page note and i bought a camera today so i could take pics of me n everyone to send with the letter.. good idea?

Posted at 03:05 pm by BabiiDesire
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Jan 27, 2004
gOod day !! =-)

wOw a lOt of shit has happened in the past few days .. my sisters ex bOyfriend ran away frOm hOme on staurday and he has been staying at my hOuse ever since .. his mOm gOt pissed off at him because he stOle his dads credit card and was using it tO make a bunch of purchases on stupid shit like clOthes or stuff fOr his car and she called the cOps on him sO nOw hes wanted for false purchases, false impersantatiOn, and as a run away. i think that's pretty fucked up that his mom called the cops on him i mean come on.. if your son ran away from home i would be more worried about his safety than how much money he was using. but yeah my mom got wind that he was wanted by the cops because she didnt know about it so she took him and drew with her and she was going to drop greg off at his friends house when the cops went down the road and so she dropped him off lik3 5 min away from here and came back here to find the cops circling the house. we were all hiding out in the jam-room so the cops couldnt see us but kyle had gone outside and they had seen him so they knew there was people here.

anyways .. i met a new kid that i liked .. and he is soooo hott!! and super nice !! =-)  lol his name is nathan .. chrissy wants to hook me up with him cuz she said that he would deff. hook up with me but im not sure cuz i dont wanna look stupid if he doesnt wanna .. =-/  but i think i just might take my chances...

Posted at 05:11 pm by BabiiDesire
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Jan 25, 2004
i wish. .

tOday is such a thOughtful day fOr me. . on friday i went tO drews hOuse with him because he was waiting fOr the UpS guy tO cOme with stuff fOr his car and he tOld me i cOuld gO thrOugh mikeys rOom if i wanted sO i did. . i mean why wOuldnt i? lol And i fOund the lOve letter he wrOte tO trishia befOre he left and it said all these i lOve yOus and stuff and i was like damn it !! this letter shOuld of been tO me!! lol and then i layed on his bed and wrOte him a nice letter abOut hOw stupid i was to of let myself fall in lOve with him and hOw much i miss him and stuff.. and i left it in his clOset on this little desk thing by his clOthes .. i didnt intend on giving it tO him but i left it there when i left by accident and i guess its gunna stay there unless i gO back and get it Lol

i tOok on of his sweaters that he always used tO wear over here.. sOmething i cOuld cuddle with until i can cuddle with him again .. =-/   i been sleeping with it ever since..

oh yeah and steve and i are cOol again.. he came over the other day and we talked sO i have him as a friend but i havent talked tO him since then and its been like 6 days? idk whats his deal but its nOt really any of my cOncern right nOw..

okay well i have tO gO back and dO sOmething fOr my hippO butt friend amanda =-) hehe yOu knOw i lOve yOu Lol !!

3 mOnths 2weeks 1day !! i cant wait !! =-)

Posted at 11:21 am by BabiiDesire
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Jan 19, 2004
just wOke up

gOod mOrning! =)  im gunna tell yOu abOut last night okay?  lol  okay well  last night was sO bOring in the beginning but arOund midnight all these peOple started cOming over. . lets see it was me katie tina brittany drew matt kyle brad p.j heather kim mitch david and sOme other kid i didnt knOw lol they were all friggen piss drunk when they gOt here sO they were acting sO stupid but it was sOo funny! P.j. was like falling dOwn he cOuldnt even stand straight lol and then he had tO get intO a car and drive i was kinda wOrried abOut him cuz he cOuldnt even stand sO hOw was he suppOsed tO drive a car?  =/

anyways katie and kyle gOt intO a fight last night but everythings gOod nOw . . thank gOd! they're perfect fOr each other! sO it wOuld be a shame if they brOke up cuz i knOw they bOth wOuld have regretted it. .

i miss steve. .

okay well im gunna gO nOw. . i'll write mOre later   k i s s e s  =)  =/

Posted at 06:58 am by BabiiDesire
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Jan 17, 2004
havent written in a lOng time lOl

sOrry i havent written in a lOng time but i been fOrgetting tO write. . =-/ its all gOod thOugh a lOt has happened since i last wrOte. .

adam and i brOke up. . and Once again i did all the breaking up with lol ya knOw its nOt a bad thing thOugh cuz that means that im nOt getting dumped which i guess is a gOod thing but yeah abOut six days after i brOke up with adam alex and i gOt back tOgether and not even a week later i brOke up with him again tOo!! haha im such a friggen lOser!

tO tell the truth im seriOusly in lOve with mikey. . and i miss him sOoOo much it isnt even funny!! he gets out of jail in abOut 5 mOnths! yay! i cant wait tO see him again i havent seen him tOuched him kissed him.. in fOrever!!! it sucks sOo much! but i guess i can survive anOther 5 mOnths since i've already been withOut him fOr almOst 4 mOnths. .  =(  =( 

theres a lOt of peOple in my hOuse right nOw. . theres me fergusOn katie tina brittany melanie kyle brad mike matt and the other brad. . and nOne of the guys are hOt! its sO friggen dumb!! the only hOt older kid is steve and i already kissed him sO yeah.. but i really dOnt care for him anymOre because he IM'd me earlier yelling abOut hOw i tOld ppl we made out when i didnt ashley just mis-understOod me. . but if he wants tO be mad at me fOr sOmething as stupid as that then he can be . . i have mOre impOrtant things tO wOrry abOut. .

well im gOing tO gO hang out with everyOne. . i'll prOlly write mOre later. . and if i dOnt sweet dreams . . i knOw i'll have sOme nice dreams abOut my mikey  =)  well. . hOpefully at least

Posted at 06:06 pm by BabiiDesire
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Dec 23, 2003
nOt a gOod day at all..

well tOday was abOut the wOrst day i've had in a very lOng time. . im sOrry i havent written lately i just havent gOtten arOund tO it. . tOo much has been happening! tOmOrrOw my cusiOn and everyOne is getting here frOm new yOrk. . and it alsO happens to be christmas eve! mOst kids get all excited because its crhristmas time but i guess im the odd one. . i just want it tO gO away. lately i've been wanting tO be alOne. . a lOt! and nOthing ever seems tO make me happy. . i just spend the last almOst hOur in my rOom curled up in a little ball on my bed . . crying my eyes out. .

last night adam and i were talking and he tOld me he didnt want tO be anOther jOsh. . adam yOu are nOt anOther jOsh. there is a difference between yOu twO. i did nOt like him and i like yOu. but i dO still have feelings fOr alex. . and fOr that reasOn i dOnt think i shOuld be with yOu because it is nOt right. i dO nOt wish tO hurt yOu and being with yOu will only hurt myself.

i dOnt knOw what i am gOing tO dO abOut anything thats been happening . . and nOw that i have realized this abOut adam i dO nOt knOw when i will finally be happy again. sOmetimes life dOesnt make any sense at all but in the end . . all the little pieces sOmehOw just. . fall intO place. .

Posted at 06:54 pm by BabiiDesire
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Dec 17, 2003
im sO happy. .

wOw. . tOday was sOo cOld! and its suppOsed tO be cOlder tOmOrrOw! geez . . this is suppOsed tO be flOrida! lol oh well i had a veryy gOod day anyways. . in the mOrning i was kind of wOrried that adam was mad at me fOr what i wrOte last time but i guess it just upset him. . i'm sOo sOrry adam. . i didn't mean tO upset yOu at all hun! and i gOt in a fight with alex earlier. . he just dOesnt seem tO get me. . and nOw hes all mad because i tOld him adam cOuld understand me mOre than he cOuld. . stuff happens. .

anyways i cant wait until friday! im gOing tO the mOvies with katie, chrissy, and hOpefully my wOnderful bOyfriend =)  and katie said that dOug wanted tO cOme over and chill tOo. Its gOing tO be fun =) hehe okay well im gunna gO talk tO adam nOw. .

Posted at 04:18 pm by BabiiDesire
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